Synopsis of a James Brown Christmas Song: A 12 Step Program

[Gimpy]

As some of you know, I work in retail. This time of year, I hear the same songs on a six hour loop. One song on our list is a James Brown tune. This is my synopsis of how to write a Christmas tune, according to James Brown. Figured it'd make y'all laugh.
1. "HEEEEYYYYYYYYY"
2. Refer to self in third person
3. Thank the crowd for coming to see the show.
4. Repeat step #3
5. See step #4
6. Self promote next gig
7. "YEAHHHHH"
8. Tell them you love them
9. Tell them again
10. See step #3
11. Briefly mention Christmas and New Years.
12. See step #1, use lots of emphasis and be REALLY LOUD.
Boom, James Brown Christmas tune.